I know I'm irresponsible and I don't behave
And I ruin everything that I do
And I'll probably get arrested when I'm in my grave.
I paid fifteen dollars for a prostitute
With too much makeup and a broken shoe
But her eyes were just a counterfeit she tried to gyp me out of it.
Don't listen to the rumors that you hear about me
Cause I ain't half as bad as they make me out to be.

-"Saving All My Love for You", Tom Waits